Articles Submit

A collection of articles about anything

A Guide to Buying an Acoustic Guitar

Knowing how to choose the right guitar and how to identify a bad one, will save you from countless headaches, not to mention finger aches.

Acoustic guitar bodies come in basically the same hourglass shape, with some variations, but they do vary in size, color, wood-type, style, and extra features. You can even buy an acoustic guitar so small that fits into a hiking backpack.

Guitars come in a very wide range of prices, but when it comes to instruments, in general, you get what you pay for, especially when you buy new. There’s a real difference between getting a bargain and buying cheap.

But whether you buy new or used may be determined by many personal factors including your budget, and each has their own pros and cons.

Buying new, gives you a warranty and, hopefully, a return period, if for some reason you’re not totally satisfied with your purchase, or something goes wrong.

Under ‘usual’ circumstances, a used guitar can usually be purchased cheaper and has already gone through its “break-in” period.

Commercially built guitars are usually mass manufactured. “Custom-made” guitars are exactly that. They are custom built and tailored to your specifications by a highly skilled guitar maker.

Prices for a custom-built guitar vary considerably, depending on the skill level of the craftsperson you contract the job to, but, as a rule, they are generally quite higher than a commercially built guitar of “similar” quality. Each custom built guitar is unique and therefore hard to compare in price to a commercially built guitar.

FOR THE “TECHIES”

Understanding some of the parts of a guitar will definitely help you when it comes to the Pre-Purchase Checklist.

BODY: This is the part with the sound hole in the front. It is where the strumming is done, and it can vary in size. The actual size, shape, type of wood, coating, and general build of the body also affects how the guitar will “sound”, whether it’s a rich and warm sound, or a thin and ‘twangy’ sound. The body tends to be the part that also gets scratched, damaged, and generally banged-up the most.

NECK: This is the long piece extending from the body and ends at the ‘head’ of the guitar where the ‘Tuning Heads’ are, also known as ‘machine heads’. The strings travel from the ‘Bridge’ on the body, across the sound hole, along the ‘Fret Board’, which is attached to the front-side of the neck, and finally arriving at the tuning heads where they are wrapped around tuning posts. The tuning heads are then turned by hand, which then turns the posts, making the strings tighter or looser, thus affecting their ‘tuning’. Necks tend to warp and twist if not looked after, or if the guitar is left propped against a heat source.

BRIDGE: The Bridge is normally located on the front of the body, by the sound hole, and on the side of the hole opposite to the neck. The strings are usually fed through the bridge first before they cross the hole and travel up the neck to the tuning heads. The bridge is like an anchor-point for the strings. Metal bridges are best, but on most acoustics they are either hard plastic or wood. Bridges have a tendency to crack and split over a long period of time.

FRET BOARD: The fret board is glued to the front of the neck. This is the part you press the strings onto to make chords or play individual notes. Because it’s glued on separately, a fret board can be made of a wood that’s different from the neck.

The strings travel over the fret board and the distance they are above the fret board makes a difference to the playability of the guitar. If the strings are too far above the fret board, then they will be hard to press down, making the guitar hard to play.

When a beginner plays a guitar, initially his or her fingertips are very soft and need to be hardened. A guitar with the strings too far above the fret board, also known as having a ‘high action’, will cause the player’s fingers to hurt so much that they are likely to put the guitar away in discouragement and possibly stop playing altogether.

STRINGS: Acoustic guitar strings, come in a wide variety of ‘flavors’. They can be made out of nylon, brass, steel, or a combination. Nylon strings are usually only found on Classical guitars and Student guitars, because they’re easier on the fingertips. They have a rich, warm sound to them.

Strings sets come in different ‘weights’, or sizes. Strings that come from a package marked ‘Heavy’ are usually quite thick in size and sound “beefy”. Strings that are light, or extra light, are very thin and usually have a brighter sound to them, but are also quieter sounding than heavy strings.

String choices are purely personal taste. Light strings are easier to press than heavy strings but also sound quite different. The more often strings are played, the dirtier they get. If a cloth isn’t run over and under them, from time to time, the sound becomes very dull

THE PRE-PURCHASE CHECKLIST

– Before you buy a used guitar, cost-compare against the price of a new one, unless the guitar is quite old. You could also compare its used price to other used prices by going to an online auction and either searching for the same or a similar guitar.
– Check the overall condition of the wood for cracks, scratches, splits, dents, chips, etc.
– Also check the lacquer finish for cracks and splits.
– Check the neck/fret board for warping and twisting. You can do this by holding the guitar flat on its back, with the sound hole facing upward. Bring the guitar up to eye-level, with the neck running away from you and the edge of the body almost touching your face. Let your eyesight skim across the front of the body and down the fret board. You should be able to see if the neck is twisted or bowing.
– Tune the guitar, or have the seller tune it for you.
– If you know how to play about five or six chords then play them. If you don’t know how to play, ask the seller to play them for you. This check ensures that the neck of the guitar is not warped, even though you couldn’t physically see it. If the neck is warped, and the guitar is properly tuned, then some of the chords will sound good, but others will sound as though the guitar is not tuned. If this happens, check the tuning again. If it persists, then don’t buy the guitar.
– Check the bridge of the guitar. If it’s made out of wood or plastic, make sure it’s not cracked or splitting. The bridge needs to be rock-solid, as a lot of pressure is exerted on the bridge by the strings.
– Check the tuning heads. Do they turn easily, or are they very stiff and hard to turn. Even with the high tension of the strings, a quality guitar will have tuning heads that are fairly easy to turn.
– Check the ‘action’ of the guitar. Are the strings a fair distance from the fret board? Are they easy or hard to press down at various points on the fret board?
– If you are buying the guitar for yourself, and you know how to play, even if you’re a beginner, then play the guitar.
– How does it feel?
– Is it easy or hard to play?
– Can you fit your hand around the neck/fret board comfortably to play chords?
– Is the guitar a comfortable size and shape for your body? Is it easy to hold?
– If you plan to play standing up, ask for a guitar strap.
– Do you like the sound, the color, etc?
– If you don’t play, have someone else play it for you so that you can judge what it sounds like.

WHERE TO BUY

Buying a guitar from a physical retail music store allows you to ‘test drive’ the guitar and ask more questions up front. Buying online or from a catalog may bring you more cash savings.

No matter where you buy your guitar, if you know what to look for, and spend a little extra effort in your search for that ‘perfect’ guitar, not only will your fingers thank you, but also your ears, and all those who will come to join you around the campfire, or even go to see you in concert. Who knows?

How to Look After Your Guitar

It is no big secret that proper care of your guitar will give you a more consistent quality of sound and an extended for the guitar . If you are at alls erious about playing guitar you will want to get some accessories that are essential for the care of the guitar. A guitar player is only as good as the sound and the quality of the guitar that they are playing.

The first item on th elist would be a hard shell case for transporting the guitar. Many people use what they call soft or cloth “gig bag” which zip up and protect the exterior surface of the guitar. A major problem with this type of case is that the tuning nuts on the end of the neck of the guitar get out of tune almost every time you transport it as there is nothing to protect them from being knocked which causes them to turn and get out of tune. Also, if there is any kind of impact while loading and unloading the guitar, this could cause cracks or actual punctures in the body of the guitar. A hard shell case prevents these things from happening as there is space between the neck and body of the guitar and the actual case. The case is designed to take impact while holding the guitar securely on the inside protecting the actual body and neck of the guitar and keeping it in tune. It is a bit more of an investment than a gig bag but in the long run it will help to make your guitar last much longer.

Another item that should be considered for care of the guitar is a guitar stand. You need this to put the guitar on while you are not playing it. Many people lean the guitar against a wall or couch or some other stationary object when they are not playing it. There are a couple of reasons why this is not a good practice. The first would be that if you do not lean the guitar in the correct manner you can very easily warp the neck of the guitar which makes it much more difficult to play. Warping of the neck increases the distance between the strings and the neck which causes you to have to apply more force on the strings while playing. This can make for some very sore and blistered fingers! Also, leaving the guitar laying around makes it much more available for accidents to happen. Having a stand keeps the guitar in the same location when you are done with it and also supports the neck close to the body of the guitar which totally prevents warping of the neck – a small investment solving some big problems.

The last item that should be considered is an actual tuning device for the guitar. You will find that the longer you play the guitar the better you will become at tuning it by just using your ear. But for starting out, you will want to use something that gives you the exact sound and gives the guitar an accurate tune up. There are many devices that you can get that are very easy to use which will give you the exact tuning you need. When your guitar is not tuned correctly this can be very embarrassing – especially if you are singing along with the guitar!

How to Legally Download Movies on the Internet

With more and more people using broadband we are seeing and increase in options for content from the internet. One of these is movies. Due to the large file size of video content, it was not practical for this type of content for dial up users. This is all changing as broadband becomes the standard method to use the internet.

Early adopters of this new approach have gone so far as to cancel their cable TV subscriptions but not all content can be downloaded on the internet at this point. Still, this trend will likely continue as more content becomes available. Let’s look at some of the top five latest sources for online movies.

CinemaNow.com offers downloadable movies that can be played for up to 24 hours after you start watching them. There are no membership fees and you pay $2.99 to $3.99 per rental. The current selection includes over 7500 films as well as a selection of free movie downloads.

Movielink.com has movie downloads starting at $1.99. They have a decent and growing selection of new releases and classics. Unlimited viewings per download for 24 hours. Nice selection of free downloads also. They offer student discounts and weekly half off specials.

Stars.real.com offers a monthly subscription plan that allows unlimited monthly downloads for $12.95. Like the cable version of Starz channel, you won’t find the latest releases, but there are over 300 movies each month to choose from. They offer a 14 day free trial, so it’s worth checking out.

Vongo.com contains over 1000 titles with new titles weekly. This service is also related to the Starz cable channel. Unlimited downloads and unlimited view times for standard titles. The monthly subscription is $9.99. They also have a pay per view fee for latest releases.

There are a number of other sites that offer legal movie downloads of non-mainstream theater movies, and of course TV programs. For more sources see www.new-free-movie-downloads.info .

Curb The TV Habit In 3 Easy Steps

So you’re not quite ready to throw the TV away, but you’re limiting the time spent viewing television in your home? Here are some easy tips that have worked for me.

1) Identify when and why you watch and change your habits

Do you usually turn the tube on when you get home from work? Why? Do you turn it on in the late afternoon when the kids get home? Why?

Sometimes the TV goes on when we’re tired or bored. If you’re tired, you either need to: get more sleep or get more exercise. So instead of automatically flipping on the television, why not go for a 10 minute walk to refresh yourself? Or, take a nap!

If you’re turning on the TV to “zone out” and decompress after a busy day, try developing a new, healthier habit.

Some examples:

Brew a nice cup of hot tea and drink it slowly.
Write in a journal.
Put your feet up on the couch and listen to music.
Do crossword puzzles (a recent study showed that people who do crosswords on a regular basis are less likely to get Alzheimer’s disease.)

2) Make TV watching inconvenient.

A TV does not belong in the bedroom! Keeping one there is bad for a marriage and bad for your love life! It also contributes to insomnia. Put the television in an inconvenient place like the basement. Unplug it. Cover it with a blanket.

3) Give up cable.

I decided a long time ago that I would never have cable. I can think of about a thousand other ways to spend $50 a month (Starbucks, anyone?) plus my husband would probably spend all his time watching the Discovery channel instead of talking to me!

If you live in a semi-rural area, you might not even get any channels if you cancel your cable service. But that would be a good thing if you’re trying to limit TV! You can use the TV as a “movie machine” and rent DVDs so that you can at least control the content better.

Here’s to turning off the TV and turning on life!

Cupid Quotient

Love and romance, mankind has paired into couples ever since Adam and Eve, but what makes some relationships sizzle and others fizzle? Some say it may well be the romantic nature of the individuals who make up the couple. However, whether you are single, searching or happily married, it is human nature to seek romance and love.

So why don’t you take my quiz and test your Cupid Quotient?!?

1. In what country would a man send a woman a Valentine letter containing a rhyme and signed with a series of dots to represent his name? According to this country’s tradition, if the woman guessed his identity correctly on Valentine’s Day he would reward her with a gift.
A. Denmark
B. Italy
C. England
D. America

A. Denmark

QQ. In Denmark, a man would send a woman a Valentine letter containing a rhyme and signed with a series of dots to represent his name. If the woman guessed his identity correctly on Valentine’s Day he would reward her with a gift.

2. In what country would young ladies awaken before sunrise and look out their window? According to tradition, the first man they saw would be either the man they would marry or someone who looked like their future husband.
A. Denmark
B. Italy
C. England
D. America

B. Italy
QQ. In Italy, young ladies would awaken before sunrise and look out their window. Tradition said the first man they saw would be either the man they would marry or look like their future husband.

3. In what country would a suitor leave a basket of gifts on his beloved’s doorstep and run off?
A. Denmark
B. Italy
C. England
D. America

C. England
QQ. In England, a suitor would leave a basket of gifts on his beloved’s doorstep and run off.

4. In what country would young ladies write their names on slips of paper and at Valentine’s Day party young men would draw names.
According to this country’s tradition, the young man would then wear the name of his lady on his sleeve for days to claim her as his valentine, originating the saying “wearing your heart on your sleeve.”
A. Denmark
B. Italy
C. England
D. America

D. America
QQ. In America, young ladies would write their names on slips of paper and at a Valentine’s Day party young men would draw names. A young man would wear the name of his lady on his sleeve for days to claim her as his valentine, originating the saying “wearing your heart on your sleeve.”

5. The tradition of pairing lovers in February comes from:
A. A pagan festival called Lupercalia when young men and women drew names to choose partners, exchanged gifts and often married after the festival pairing.
B. Geoffrey Chaucer who chose the date because the 14th of February was the day birds began to pair for the spring nesting season.
C. Pope Gelasius chose Feb. 14th as the day to honor St. Valentine.
D. The Romans once honored Juno, the Roman goddess of women and marriage, and Pan, the god of nature, during a festival on Feb. 15.
E. They are all true

E. They are all true
QQ: Interesting how many reasons there are to become a couple on a specific date!

6. Valentine’s Day-celebrated Feb. 14-is a festival of love and romance. Its history can be traced back to which civilization?
A. Rome
B. Greece
C. Celts
D. None of the above, it was created by the greedy card, chocolate and flower companies.

A. Rome
QQ: While admittedly the holiday has become excessively commercialized, it is not a manufactured holiday but one with a long tradition extending back to Rome

7. Why was Cupid chosen as the symbol of Valentine’s Day and lovers?
A. He was the Roman god of love.
B. A celebrated marksman from Greece, he won the hand of his beloved through an archery match.
C. According to Celtic tradition, Cupid was an unfortunate suitor killed by the arrow of an outraged father who refused to let his daughter wed for love.
D. There is no reason other than the fact greedy card, chocolate and flower moguls thought that was the cutest design created by their marketing staff.
E. All are correct

A. He was the Roman god of love.
QQ: Sometimes we get a little silly

8. The original Valentine, who was sainted after his death, was:
A. A Christian priest who lived in Rome and was jailed and later beheaded for aiding persecuted Christians in 270 AD
B. Was killed on the site of ancient altar to Juno (the Roman goddess of women and marriage).
C. A bishop of Terni who was persecuted for converted Romans to Christianity and performing Christian marriages.
D. Was actually two different Christian martyrs.
E. All are correct

E. All are correct
QQ: You couldn’t miss!

9. Deep red carnations tell your loved one that…
A. Your heart is broken.
B. Celibacy
C. Friendship
D. True Love

A. Your heart is broken.
QQ: Your heart is broken because they mean “alas, my poor heart”.

10. Roses are among the most popular flowers for lovers to give, but what does the gift mean?
A. Hopeless love
B. Be mine
C. Love
D. Farewell

C. Love
QQ: That one was easy, wasn’t it?

11. However, the combination of white and red roses sends what message?
A. Unity
B. Declaration of love
C. Farewell
D. Distrust

A. Unity
QQ: You could get bonus points for that!

12. If you hope to propose, what flowers should make up the bouquet you present to your intended?
A. Ivy
B. Blue violets
C. Globe amaranth
D. Rose
E. Any and All

E. Any and All
QQ: I think combining all these flowers would make a beautiful gesture as: Ivy means fidelity and marriage, Blue violets mean faithfulness, Globe amaranth means unfading love, and Roses mean love

A Deep Look at Soap Operas

You have got to love soap operas. From the intricate plots and finely woven webs of deceit, to the depths of schemes, they were, are and always will be classics. They are timeless. I wrote this article as my take on them back in 1970 when filling white space for our high school paper. Watch a few soap operas for the next few days and see for yourself how closely they resemble soap operas 36 years ago…

And now for that thought provoking question that plagues men’s souls unceasingly through the bright shining of the day and through the untold dark depths of the night:

Why did Peter, who in reality is actually Superman, fake that he stubbed his toe on the 17th stone on the sidewalk starting at 4th and Grand instead of the 16th stone, which was bigger and more logically the victim of that invulnerable toe and why did Marlys take Sam’s advice to buy the yellow tulip instead of the red and green carnation, while all the time Rodregus knew that the curvaceous young Pandora was at the moment buying the last purple, double-breasted, duck-billed, warbling giraffe in the world for her dear departed Phillip disguised as a lowly second mate on the Queen Mary, which was under attack by the tyrant Cedric because of the terrible beating he had suffered at the hands of Radcliff whose ex-wife Natalie was actually Percival’s long lost great-great-uncle Maximillian in disguise who knew that Zigmond was fond of un-pitted olives stuffed into green grapefruit filled graciously with Granny and Gretchen’s goulash, which was gradually getting gooey and who also knew of Jennifer’s contact Louella in the deep Congo, seized at the time by the dread Gardenia, the 7th cousin of Guenivere, in hopes of receiving the eight-ounce bottle of Elmer’s Glue stored in the vast files in the cortex of Courtney’s colossal computer complex carefully compiled to correct the current curling, commonly crusading as the contagious, communicable, crystalline, cucumber crud, carried on cue sticks by crying cuckoo clock birds continuously to conform with the cunning Cornelius’ cumbersome plot to corrupt the currency and continue the crisis of the Cormandel Coast Cult, complicated by the coroner Cort’s corny connotation to conceal his consecutive coronary contractions constantly crippling his conscious efforts to contradict congenial counterparts’ careful counterfeit correspondence with Corwyn, the cosmic cosmetician?

Was it because Bill had green eyes or was it because Melissa meddled menacingly and meticulously in Maude’s plans to read the calendar to see what year she had been sent to by her superiors in the future?

Tune in tomorrow for the exciting climax created by another deep question.

A Relationship Begging For A Way Out

A Relationship Begging For A Way Out
from shopndrop.com

At what point is it time to bail out of a relationship?

We often hear of relationships which start out bad but straighten out in the end. We even hear of relationships which start out good but then turn sour. But when a relationship starts off with all the romantic overtones of a documentary on the Asian flu, develops with the smoothness of an intoxicated chimpanzee doing a waltz on roller skates, then blossoms with the colorful brilliance of a malnourished vegetable, you know something’s wrong. Such was my nine-month relationship with Sally. (Sally was not her real name. But that didn’t come as a terrible shock, since her age and hair color weren’t real either.)

That we were headed for rough times, was somewhat obvious on our first date. We had just seen a Broadway musical. Walking towards the car, I tried starting a conversation somewhere along the lines of “music,” “dance,” “scenery.” How I failed so miserably I’ll never know. Instead, she asked me if I could do her a favor and take her dog to the veterinarian the next day. I said, “But we hardly know each other.”

She said, “So? Does my dog have to suffer because we hardly know each other?”

As we drove to a restaurant, I sensed her attitude turning somewhat hostile. I started feeling guilty about not agreeing to take her dog to the vet. Her dog, I said to myself, probably had two broken hind legs, and Sally probably had to visit a sick aunt in the hospital. How could I be so inconsiderate? But when I found out her dog was going in for his annual chest X-ray, and she had an appointment with her hair dresser, it made me furious. Was her hair more important than her dog’s health? And I couldn’t help wondering how, many packs a day did her dog smoke?

This is when it occurred to me that this date was not on the right track. Here we were between a play and a restaurant, and she was hostile and I was furious. I had a more cordial relationship with my parole officer.

I thought, maybe we ought to go back to her house, start the date over, and see if we can get it right. Then I realized what an unrealistic thought that was. What if her parents moved out while we were out on our date? She could become my responsibility. At least in the restaurant there was a chance she might fall in love with the waiter and I’ll go home alone.

We headed straight for the restaurant.

I had a feeling the hostility did not end in the car. As we looked over the menu, she suggested I order large portions for myself. I asked, “Do I look that hungry?”

She said, “No, you look lean and undernourished.”

I asked, “Why do you say that?”

She said, “Your toupee is loose.”

“I don’t wear a toupee. My hair is just a little messed up from keeping the car window open.”

“Well, my ex-husband wore a toupee and he looked just like that.”

“Like what? Lean?”

“No, messed up.”

“Where did he buy his toupee?” I asked. “In Mop-City?”

She replied, “Who cuts your hair? Jack the Ripper?”

And so, the mood was set for a romantic dinner. I ordered lamb chops, she ordered well-done steak. When we got our orders, she insisted her steak was not well-done and had the waiter take it back. While we waited for her steak, we tried discussing a topic which could not possibly lead to any kind of dispute or resentment — we remained silent.

A couple sitting at the next table looked at us, obviously amused. I said to them, “Would you believe this is our first date?”

As they both laughed, the guy asked, “What would you two do if you were married?”

I replied, “We’d probably shoot Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles at each other.”

When Sally’s steak arrived, I was a little embarrassed when she insisted her steak was still not well-done enough. The waiter looked quite irritated. In an attempt to avoid a scene, I whispered, “Sally, please, don’t give the waiter a hard time.”

She said, “Don’t worry about it. I can handle him.”

I said, “Don’t be silly, he has a day job as a demolition expert for the Parking Violations Bureau. Your car’ll never be safe in this town.”

“I don’t care if he’s a Swat Team coordinator for the B’nai Brith,” she replied angrily. “That steak is not well-done and I want him to take it back.” Sally and the waiter looked at each other like two disgruntled hockey players about to strike each other with a puck. It was not a pretty sight. At that moment, it became painfully clear to me that my chances of going home alone that evening were unfortuntely rather slim.

As the waiter grudgingly took back Sally’s steak once more, I knew I must be strong enough not to let little setbacks turn into major obstacles. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. We were still on good terms with the busboy.

In a short few minutes our waiter returned from the kitchen, carrying a tray with two plates. One plate contained a small stack of ashes, the other plate contained a steak and a blow torch. He leaned over and said to Sally with a smirk, “Which one would you like? This one,” pointing to the plate with ashes, “is already well-done, and this one,” pointing to the other plate, “you have to well-do yourself.”

In disgust, Sally turned to me, “Do you believe this?”

I said, “Take the ashes — the blow torch is extra.”

Our meal up until this point raised some serious questions in my mind: If a date ends between the main course and dessert, does the guy have to pay the entire check? If he does, does this restaurant have a back exit?

When I finally did pay the check at the end of the meal, I got this strange feeling that the owner wanted us as far away from his restaurant as possible — I got my change in Mexican currency.

Believe it or not, this date had a happy ending. I finally took Sally home — and her parents were there! I was never so happy to see a girl’s parents wait up for her. And I didn’t even mind hearing her father, who was apparently used to her coming home earlier, say, “You should’ve been home an hour ago.”

I was tempted to add, We should’ve been home four hours ago.

Strangely, I called her again only a week later. Despite all the things our first date left to be desired, one thing it was not — dull. And that ain’t small potatoes.

Three months later, we were still trying to get that first date right. Depending on how you look at it, things got a lot worse or very exciting. Agreeing on what to do on a night out always turned into something between a legal litigation and the Jerry Spriger Show.

On one particular rainy Saturday night I decided, rather than make the first suggestion as to where we should go, and start an argument, I’d leave everything up to Sally. The moment I stepped into her house, I said, “Tonight we go anywhere you want to go.”

She asked, “Anywhere?”

I said, “Anywhere.”

She shocked me with, “I want to go wherever you want to go.”

I said, “Look, if you’re not feeling well we can stay home and watch TV.”

“No, I’m feeling okay. Anywhere you want to go is fine.”

“Okay, let’s go bowling.”

She gave me a funny look, “Bowling?”

“Yes, tonight’s a good night for bowling.”

“You’re in a mood to go bowling?”

“I thought you want to go wherever I want to go.”

“I do. I just want to make sure that that’s where you want to go?”

“Yes,” I replied, “that’s where I want to go.”

“On a night like this?!” she screamed. “It’s raining and disgusting out there!”

“Bowling is indoors!”

After several moments of silence, she said, “Why don’t we go to a movie?”

Sarcastically, I said, “We can’t go to a movie. My dentist says I shouldn’t eat popcorn.”

“Who says you have to eat popcorn? Why don’t you suck a toasted marshmallow?”

By the time we finally left her house, half the night was gone and we were no closer to a decision as to where to go. The only reason we left was because we couldn’t even agree on which room to argue in.

Driving while engaged in a heated debate and having no idea where you’re going is next to impossible. You begin seeing every corner as a logistical dilemma. Do you turn left, right, or go straight ahead? It doesn’t really matter. But it could if you eventually decide where to go. Do you jump yellow lights? You don’t even know if you’re in a rush.

We finally reached a big intersection. No matter which way you looked there were about six choices — main roads, divided roads, service roads, dirt roads, etc. It drove me crazy. I pulled the car over and, in a rather loud tone, said, “That’s it! I’ve had it! We can’t go on like this! We make one wrong turn here and we wind up in Yukon. You know what’s in Yukon? Nothing! No movies, no bowling, no restaurants, absolutely nothing — just more roads! You want to wind up in Yukon?!”

A little shook up, she took a deep breath and said, “Hey, calm down. What are you getting so excited about?”

I said, “We have to make a decision now, before we enter that intersection.”

She said, “I already said I wanted to see a movie.”

“We can’t see a movie anymore — it’s too late. No movies start at one-thirty in the morning.”

“Okay, then let’s go bowling.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. “Let’s not rush into things. There are still plenty of options open. We can go to the park and watch the dew settle on the leaves. We can take the Times Square Shuttle back and forth sixty-eight times and pretend we went cross-country. We can even go upstate to a farm and watch the hens crow at the full moon.”

She said, “Hens don’t crow.”

I said, “After listening to us for a few minutes there’s no telling what they’ll do.”

“And there’s no full moon out.”

“By the time we make a decision there will be!”

Some friends of mine were getting together in a nearby bowling alley that night. We headed in that direction. We arrived only to find out that my friends had already left and the entire bowling alley had been taken over by a group of Japanese tourists having a tournament. We were informed that the only way we could play is if we joined one of their teams.

Ever get the feeling “this is your last chance?” Well, I had a terrible feeling that this tournament was the last thing going on in the entire city that night. I decided we’re not taking any chances — we played.

The only one on our team who spoke english was the captain. And he had laryngitis. This was the first time in my life I bowled and played “charade” at the same time.

Although they were all a bunch of nice people, the disappointment of expecting to spend an evening with old friends in a local bowling alley and winding up in Japan, took its toll. My bowling was not quite up to par. In the first game, while Sally got five strikes, I got eleven gutter balls. Sally asked, “Didn’t you once tell me you were a good bowler?”

I said, “‘Good’ is relative. The people I normally bowl with get quite a bit of gutter balls — in other people’s lanes!” She didn’t buy my definition of ‘good.’ So I tried convincing her that in Japan gutter balls are worth more points than strikes. She didn’t buy that either. I felt crushed.

As the night wore on, I racked up so many gutter balls, I was sure the bowling alley was on a slant. But I said nothing. I knew the guy who built the place and I didn’t want to get him into trouble.

As I drove sally home, I couldn’t help thinking how the prospects of my becoming a professional athlete in Japan got shot right out of the water tonight. But I didn’t let it bother me. In Brooklyn, Pac Man still carried some weight.

By the time I walked Sally to her front door, I had almost forgotten that the night started in anger and hostility. It’s amazing what frustration can do to you.

As she searched through her pocketbook for her keys, she looked up and said, “You know, I had a rotten time tonight.”

I said, “Thank you. So did I.”

She said, “I don’t think I want to see you again.”

“I wasn’t about to ask.” I turned and walked towards my car. As I opened the car door, I looked back “What time you want me to pick you up tomorrow night?”

She said, “Eight o’clock.” We tried not to smile. I got in my car and drove off.

And this is how the relationship lasted nine months. Such relationships get too involved to end quickly. And they’re far too strife-ridden to last forever.

Coffee Pods and Espresso Machines

There’s nothing like the perfect espresso. Finely ground, dark roasted coffee, pressed and percolated into a strong, rich coffee drink that delights the senses and perks up your day. In Italy, ordering a coffee means that you’re ordering an espresso. The Italians stop in their local bar once, twice, even three times a day for the perfect cup of espresso. But here in America, it’s not as easy to find espresso done right. The grind of the coffee, the right temperature, the pressing of the coffee and the foaming of the milk are skills that few people know how to wield properly on this side of the ocean. But now with espresso machines and coffee pods, the guesswork is taken out of making espresso at domestic bars or even in your own kitchen at home.

In Italy, most Italians wouldn’t recognize what we think of as a coffee maker. They use a “machinetta”, a contraption that looks like a metal hourglass that has a top like a pitcher. The machine has 2 chambers. Water and coffee go into the bottom chamber. The machine is placed on the stovetop and heated until the water boils, percolating through the espresso grinds and into the second chamber. The pressure on the grinds between the two chambers insures that the coffee is pressed – the word espresso means “expressed” – and the rich taste comes from getting as much of the flavor out of the grinds as possible. The milk is heated and whipped separately. But it’s easy to make a mistake in this process. Either by using the wrong amount of water or coffee, turning the heat on too strong or not using the right timing.

The growing popularity of espresso has meant that people want an easier, error free way to make it at home. So now you can find espresso machines that let you get the right combination of the necessary steps every time. There is a wide range of models to choose from, with different features and capacity. Some are designed for use in restaurants or bars, capable of producing large volumes of coffee in shorter amount of time. Unless you do enough entertaining at home to justify the cost, these probably aren’t the best solution for you.

Models made for home usually produce either one or two “shots” of espresso at a time. If you prefer your espresso “macchiato”, with milk, or you want to turn your espresso into a cappuccino, you will want to get an espresso machine with a nozzle that creates the steam and lets you froth the milk. Beyond these choices, you might want to consider a product that lets you use coffee pods. These pods look like large tea bags. They contain the exact amount of espresso to deliver a perfect shot every time. You simply put the pod into its slot, close it, and start the machine. When the cycle has finished, you just throw the pod away. It helps prevent any problems with measuring out the espresso and makes cleaning up absolutely easy.

If you purchase a machine that uses coffee pods, you might want to consider whether or not it can also take either another brand’s coffee pods or regular loose espresso. Some machines do, but many will work only with the coffee pods that the same company also designs. Having the flexibility to use either the pod or loose coffee means you can still use it even if you run out of pods, which might need to be special ordered. Until these machines become more popular, it’s not likely that the pods will be carried consistently in local grocery stores. Plus, the choice to use either kind of coffee also gives you the freedom to experiment with other roasts or flavors of espresso to further indulge your love of coffee.

Regulate Metabolism With Green Coffee Beans

Green coffee beans have supplied a new player in the antioxidant arena. An extract of green coffee beans has been found to have a stronger antioxidant effect than established antioxidants like green tea and grape seed extract.

The active constituent in coffee that is responsible for its many health benefits is a compound called chlorogenic acid. It neutralizes free radicals, and addresses the problem of hydroxyl radicals, both of which can lead to cellular degeneration if left unchecked. Chlorogenic acid also helps regulate metabolism. Compared to green tea and grape seed extract, green coffee bean extract is twice as effective in absorbing oxygen free radicals.

One of the advantages of using the green coffee bean extract is that the negative effects of coffee are avoided. The chlorogenic acid is thought to boost metabolism by changing the way glucose is taken up by the body. And it does contain caffeic acids, which give a boost to energy levels like regular coffee does. But unlike boiled coffee, green coffee bean extract contains no cafestol, which is a diterpene. Along with its diterpene relative kahweol, cafestol increases concentrations of the ‘bad’ cholesterol, LDL, to levels that over a lifetime might increase the risk of coronary heart disease by as much as 20% These diterpenes also had an effect on the levels of liver enzymes measured. When these are elevated it is an indicator of stress on the liver. However the study that measured this found this was a transient effect, and also that the levels of liver enzymes were much lower than those with liver disease.

As a side note on the health effect of the diterpenes found in regular coffee, it was found that by simply drinking filter coffee, none of these effects on cholesterol levels or the liver took place. The coffee filter removed the offending diterpenes. And levels of these diterpenes in instant coffee are low.

Other benefits of green coffee bean extract include an increase in the effectiveness of pain killers, especially for migraine medications; a reduction in the risk of diabetes; and assisting the body burn a higher proportion of lipids (fats) compared to carbohydrates, which could help with muscle fatigue for athletes and bodybuilders.

Interestingly, on the subject of caffeine and liver disease, further studies have indicated it may in fact support liver health for some people. Those who were at high risk of developing liver disease due to drinking too much alcohol were found less likely to suffer liver damage if they drank more than two cups of coffee or tea a day. This was a population based study, not a clinical trial, and so is not conclusive on the subject. But it does offer some promising information. Those drinking in excess of two cups or more a day were half as likely to develop liver disease compared to those drinking less than one cup a day. Researchers do not know what caused this protective effect.

One of the criticisms of coffee in regards to health is that it leaches calcium from the bones. But this effect has been found to be overemphasized, at least in children. And adults who consume a diet with sufficient levels of calcium will be protected from the small amount of calcium that is lost due to coffee consumption.

So the old axiom that caffeine can stunt a child’s growth is a myth. It was based on the fact that in older studies, caffeine was associated with low bone mass because those studies were done on elderly people who both drank a lot of coffee and had diets that were low in calcium. Recent studies in the US followed 80 teenagers over 6 years, and found no difference in the bone density of those with a high level of caffeine in their diet, compared to those teenagers who had little caffeine. Other studies determined that the amount of calcium lost from bones is small and can be balanced by having sufficient calcium in your diet.

Hip-Hop Love Stories and the Construction of Socially Acceptable Urban Identities

Hip-Hop has historically existed as a male-dominated industry. Being a reflection of urban life and struggle, past Hip-Hop artists have been forced to maintain a certain level of masculinity in order to be accepted by their urban communities. Old school rappers who talked about love were often viewed as soft or corny. Because of this perception, the existence of love in Hip-Hop is a fairly new concept.

As the movement has gained support and recognition throughout the world, love has become an increasingly common theme in Hip-Hop music and poetry. However, the taboo still exists. Even today, Hip-Hop artists and poets present their love stories in a manner that allows them to maintain socially acceptable identities. Hip-Hop stories about love must still meet the masculine ideology in which the movement is rooted in order to be perceived as real and true.

The purpose of this study is to analyze Hip-Hop love narratives and how artists present these love stories in order to construct socially acceptable identities. I believe personal narratives are closely tied to the construction of identities. It is through personal narratives that people can recount life-changing events, realize socially acceptable behavior and create individual identities.

I have researched and studied several Hip-Hop love songs and analyzed the lyrics as text and poetry. In my research, I have found five common narrative forms used by Hip-Hop poets to tell their love stories: contrasting, perceptual, spiritual, conversational and metaphoric. These five narrative forms are used not only to present the story correctly, but also to maintain positive perception among a society that might view this sensitivity as weak or disrespectable. I plan to demonstrate each of these narrative forms and show how the poets use them to tell their love stories while establishing acceptable identities.

The Contrasting Narrative
One of the most common forms of Hip-Hop love stories is the contrasting narrative. Many artists use Hip-Hop music and poetry to tell stories about the negativity surrounding their urban environments. The contrasting narrative allows the poet to express his or her love story as a contrast to this negativity while constructing an acceptable identity because that negativity is real and understood in urban communities.

A great introductory example to the contrasting narrative would be the following passage from Method Man’s “All I Need”:

Back when I was nothin’
You made a brother feel like he was somethin’
That’s why I’m with you to this day boo no frontin’
Even when the skies were gray
You would rub me on my back and say “Baby it’ll be okay”

In this song, the poet uses the contrasting narrative to show his love for someone who stood by him when “skies were gray.” He speaks of his love interest as someone who helped him get through troubled times, thus providing a positive contrast to his negative surroundings.

Another example of the contrasting love narrative can be seen in this passage from Guru’s “All I Said”:

This world is crazy, she’s supposed to help me stay sane
Supposed to help with the pain, supposed to help me maintain

In this song, Guru uses the contrasting narrative to share his view of what love should be. He admits that his “world is crazy”, and that his love interest is the one person who can make it bearable.

In “She Tried”, Bubba Sparxx uses the contrasting narrative to tell a story that actually recalls his love being there for him when he was in trouble with the law:

A fly country girl, just workin’ them gifts
She’s my queen, was a virgin I guess
But I ain’t never ask and I ain’t never tell
But Betty had the cash every time I went to jail

This song further illustrates the use of contrasting narratives to express love. Though the poet confesses spending a lot of time in jail, Betty was always there to bail him out, again acting as a positive contrast to his troubles
.
The Perceptual Narrative
Another common narrative form of Hip-Hop love stories is the perceptual narrative. Like the contrasting narrative, the perceptual narrative is based around the negativity that surrounds the poet’s life. But instead of presenting this love as a contrast to that negativity, the poet uses this narrative to explain how that love changed his or her previously negative perceptions. This narrative form also allows the poet to construct a socially acceptable identity due to the acknowledgement of the negativity of urban life.

In “Jazzy Belle”, Andre of Outkast uses the perceptual narrative to tell of how his love changed his former perception of women:

Went from yellin’ crickets and crows, witches and hoes to queen thangs
Over the years I been up on my toes and yes I seen thangs …
Now I’m willin’ to go the extra kilo-
Meter just to see my senorita get her pillow
On the side of my bed where no girl ever stay
House and doctor was the games we used to play
But now it’s real Jazzy Belle…

In this song, Andre talks about a personal change of perception caused by love. He admits that at one time he thought of women as “witches and hoes.” But “now it’s real”, and he has a new perception of women as “queen thangs.”
Another great example of the perceptual narrative can be found in the following passage of Black Star’s “Brown Skin Lady”:

I don’t get many compliments, but I am confident
Used to have a complex about, gettin’ too complex
You got me, willin’ to try, looked me in the eye
My head is still in the sky, since you walked on by

In this example, the poet admits to having relationship issues, but tells of how love helped him to overcome these issues. The poet’s love interest helped him to change his perception of love and fear of “gettin’ too complex”.

In “Ms. Fat Booty”, Mos Def further illustrates this point by demonstrating the perception of other men and speaking to his love on how he is different:

Yo, let me apologize for the other night
I know it wasn’t right, but baby you know what it’s like
Some brothers don’t be comin’ right
I understand, I’m feelin’ you
Besides, ‘Can I have a dance?’ ain’t really that original

In this song, the poet uses the perceptual narrative to acknowledge that some men “don’t be comin’ right”, but that he has a different perception of women than these other men.

In “Come Close”, Common uses the perceptual narrative to express how love has made him change from his old ways:

I want to build a tribe wit you
Protect and provide for you
Truth is I can’t hide from you
The pimp in me
May have to die with you

Although the poet used to be a “pimp”, an urban term for a man who romances a large number of women, he tells of how his love interest has changed his actions and perceptions.

The Spiritual Narrative
A third common form of Hip-Hop love stories is what I like to refer to as the spiritual narrative. The spiritual narrative relies on the poet’s characterization of love as a kind of godly being, spiritual force or royalty, often with the feeling that the story teller has to protect that force. The spiritual narrative allows the storyteller to construct an acceptable identity by characterizing love as spiritual or perhaps even predetermined.

A great example of the spiritual narrative can be found in this passage of The Roots’ “You Got Me”:

Somebody told me that this planet was small
We use to live in the same building on the same floor
And never met before
Until I’m overseas on tour
And peep this Ethiopian queen from Philly
Taking classes abroad

Here, the poet uses the spiritual narrative to describe the time, place and emotions that his love was founded on, speaking of them as if they were somehow meant to happen. He also refers to his love interest as “this Ethiopian queen from Philly”, using the royal characterization so common in spiritual love narratives.

In “Love Language”, Talib Kweli also uses a spiritual narrative form and refers to his love as a kind of royalty:

Now if they call you out your name
Then that’s a different thing
Anything but Queen
I’ll go to war like a King

This example shows the protection aspect of common spiritual love narratives. The poet feels it is unacceptable for anyone to “call you out your name”, or in other words, use derogatory language toward his love. If someone were to do so, he would “go to war like a King”, thus maintaining his masculinity.

In “Mind Sex”, Dead Prez uses the spiritual narrative to talk about love introductions:

African princess, tell me yo’ interests
Wait, let me guess boo, you probably like poetry
Here’s a little something I jotted down in case I spotted you around
So let me take this opportunity

In this song, the poet uses the spiritual narrative to tell a story about the introductory conversation he had with a love interest. He refers to her as “African princess”, once again showing the tendency of poets who use the spiritual narrative to refer to their love interests as royalty.

The Conversational Narrative
The fourth common form for Hip-Hop love stories is the conversational narrative. The conversational narrative allows the poet to recite or recreate a conversation with his or her love and present it as play-like story about a specific love experience. Conversational love narratives are typically characterized by introductory speech and compliments, and are most commonly used as tools to tell a story about a first meeting or impression. These narratives allow the storyteller to construct an acceptable identity mainly because they often include many smoothly-structured compliments, and make the poet look like a cool ladies man.

A great example of the conversational love narrative can be found this passage from Dead Prez’ previously mentioned “Mind Sex”:

Pardon me love but you seem like my type
What you doin’ tonight?
You should stop by the site
We could, roll some weed play some records and talk
I got a fly spot downtown Brooklyn, New York

In this example, the poet is reciting the conversation between himself and a love interest. As with many conversational narratives, it is based around meeting someone for the first time. The poet is telling a story about a girl he met that “seem[ed] like my type”. He then inquires “What you doin’ tonight?”, and follows with a list of charming speech in an attempt to create a social relationship with the girl.

In a similar narrative, “Beautiful Skin”, Goodie Mob uses the following conversational narrative to retell the first phone conversation he had with his love interest:

This is Carlito from a couple of days ago, you sound tired
Forgive me if I’ve called you too late
But what better time to relate mind-states?
Where could I begin?
Has anyone ever told you ‘You got beautiful skin’?

This example further illustrates the use of introductory language in conversational narratives. The poet asks his love interest if she would like to “relate mind-states”, or get to know each other. He then tells her that she has “beautiful skin”, an often successful introductory complement given to women.

Cee Lo uses the following conversational narrative in “Slum Beautiful”:

Look at you, unbelievably, brilliant beautiful you
You’re looking deliciously divine darling you really and truly do
The very thought of has got me running at the speed of love
Exploring everything about you from the ground to the God above

In this song, the poet uses the conversational narrative to speak directly to his love interest through the song. Note the wide range of compliments offered in this passage, as well as the charm, again illustrating a common aspect of the conversational narrative.

The Metaphoric Narrative
This fifth form of Hip-Hop love stories is possibly the most fascinating. It is the metaphoric narrative. The metaphoric narrative is used when the poet speaks of love in a metaphor of some kind. The most popular and socially acceptable form of metaphoric narrative is using Hip-Hop as the metaphor. Many followers of the movement view Hip-Hop as a driving force of love and happiness in their lives. Thus, many metaphoric love narratives revolve around Hip-Hop itself.

A good example of such a metaphoric narrative is the following passage from Black Eyed Peas’ “Rap Song”:

Yo, she got hips to hop
And she ain’t goin’ pop
She like a record that I wanna rock
When I’m rollin’ in my ride cruisin’ down my block

In this example, the poet actually uses a unique play on words and speaks of a love interest as a Hip-Hop metaphor. He relates this person to “a record that I wanna rock”.

The group further extends the metaphor in the following passage:

She like a beat that makes me wanna grab the mic
She like the lyrics that I wanna recite
She like the old school mic with the cable
You can bring your records and I’ll bring the turntable

Again, the poet relates his love interest to other things he and his audience love, including “old school mic with the cable”, reciting lyrics and spinning records on a turntable.

Another great example of the metaphoric narrative is in The Roots’ “Act Too … Love of My Life”:

Learnin’ the ropes of ghetto survival
Peepin’ out the situation I had to slide through
Had to watch my back my front plus my sides too
When it came to gettin’ mine I ain’t tryin’ to argue
Sometimes I wouldn’ta made it if it wasn’t for you
Hip-Hop, you the love of my life and that’s true

This passage is unique because it utilizes both the metaphoric and contrasting narrative techniques. The poet refers to Hip-Hop as “the love of my life”, while simultaneously showing how that love created a positive contrast to the tough “ropes of ghetto survival”. The poet admits that he “wouldn’ta made it if it wasn’t for you”, showing that his love for Hip-Hop was and is a driving force in his life.

And that leads us to the most popular metaphoric Hip-Hop love narrative of our time. In “I Used to Love H.E.R.”, Common Sense uses the metaphoric narrative to express his love for Hip-Hop. He starts off the narrative with the following passage:

I met this girl, when I was ten years old
And what I loved most she had so much soul
She was old school, when I was just a shorty
Never knew throughout my life she would be there for me

In this example, the poet starts off telling a story about a girl he met when he “was ten years old”, and how she was always there for him. The poet continues to use the metaphoric narrative to speak of this girl, including the good times and hardships they faced together. Not until the end of the poem does the listener actually realize that the entire song is a metaphor. The song ends with the following passage:

I see rappers slammin’ her, and takin’ her to the sewer
But I’ma take her back hopin’ that the stuff stop
Cause who I’m talkin’ bout y’all is Hip-Hop

In this song, the poet used the metaphoric narrative to tell a story about the love of his life, the struggles she faced, and his desire to save her. In the end, he admits that this love is not a real person, but instead his love of Hip-Hop.

The presentation of Hip-Hop love narratives is a very difficult task. In order to talk about love and still construct a socially acceptable urban identity, artists tend to implement one of the five successful love narrative forms. I believe that our society’s analysis of Hip-Hop music and culture is lackluster at best. The Hip-Hop love narratives presented above could provide a great basis for linguistic and sociolinguistic studies. Not only are they presented in a variety of styled narrative forms, but they also include deep thought, perception and analysis of the urban environment that characterizes an increasing majority of American society. Through the analysis and study of these love narratives, linguists could come to a greater understanding of and appreciation for the Hip-Hop vernacular, literature and, ultimately, culture.

Works Cited / Discography
A Tribe Called Quest. People’s Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm. Jive Records, 1990.
Black Eyed Peas. Bridging the Gap. Interscope Records, 2000.
Black Star. Mos Def & Talib Kweli are Black Star. Rawkus Records, 1998.
Bubba Sparxx. Deliverance. Interscope Records, 2003.
Common. Electric Circus. MCA Records, 2002.
Common Sense. Resurrection. Relativity Records, 1994.
Dead Prez. Let’s Get Free. Relativity Records, 2000.
Goodie Mob. Still Standing. La Face Records, 1998.
Guru. Jazzmatazz Streetsoul Vol. 3. Virgin Records, 2000.
Method Man. Tical. Def Jam Records, 1994.
Mos Def. Black on Both Sides. Priority Records, 1999.
Outkast. ATLiens. La Face Records, 1996.
Outkast. Stankonia. La Face Records, 2003.
Talib Kweli & DJ Hi-Tek. Train of Thought. Rawkus Records, 2000.
The Roots. Things Fall Apart. MCA Records, 1999.